I look at my daughter playing in the kitchen with me… She is a very well behaved child (almost to well behaved for her age) but I still can’t help but wonder when she is going to rear her little head and want to take control. I know it is going to happen down the road, and my husband and I will just have to set the foundation of: We are the adults, you are the child. To many times this goes ignored in the relationship between adult and child. The child is free to run rampant through the house and destroy anything in its path.
I have noticed that children are not made to behave out in public any more. When I was a child my mother would just turn to me “Do you want to go wait in the car?” Now, I don’t know exactly what the big threat about waiting in the car was, but it worked. I would settle down and we could continue what we were doing… the same with my brother. He never wanted to wait in the car either…. I asked my mom if we ever actually had to go out to the car… and I don’t believe we ever actually had to. It’s funny how that works.
It seems like a lot of times instead of just removing the child from the situation, or pointing out that they are going to be losing some type of privilege for their behavior, they get bribery. “If you can be good for the rest of the store, I will buy you a toy” this just reinforces that negative behavior!!! You are the adult!! step up!! I am not saying beat the child, I don’t agree with that. but have you ever heard of discipline?? Try it!!! I have been in a situation where there was a 5 year old who didnt want to do what the mother wanted to do. so the mother frantically searched for a piece of candy. She found one in the surrounding area that wasnt hers, but took it any way. “If you are good I will give you this piece of candy” “I want it now” “no, you have to be good first” “I WANT IT NOW!!!” “Are you going to behave” “I WANT IT NOW” the parent handed over the candy and the kid continued to have an even worse tantrum because they didnt want to do what the parent wanted them to do. “You said you would behave, give me the candy back” “NO!!!! I DONT WANT TO!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” now imagine the AHH as this ear piercing shriek.
I honestly don’t know what I would do if any of my children ever attempted to act like that… i would most likely be mortified, but i would deal with the situation with something other then candy.
OK… so younger kids can have tantrums… thats expected.. so i am not saying that its such a big deal, its going to happen. What I am saying the big deal is about, is the reaction we give it. Reinforcing negative behavior.
ok, onto older children… this will actually cover the almost adults as well….
Cell phones, PDA, IPods, MP3 players, cameras, PSP, Laptops…. just to name a few… almost every kid has one or more of these things listed. They bring them everywhere!!! Where I work there is a waiting room area, now… if you knew the type of building… it would be common sense to not bring these gadgets back into the main area of the building once you have been led back there. I was trying to do my job one time… and this 15 year old sat in the chair across from me and was playing what looked like to be smash brothers. Three times i asked them to turn off the device and put it away. I then led the person back to the waiting area and informed the parent that I would be back after the next person, but only if they decided to put the game away. At this time the parent got mad at me. AT ME!! not the child for playing a game during their appointment, but at me for daring to insist that they stop before they are finished. My boss has removed cell phones and actually held them captive! (He can get away with it…) if the person whines that they want it back, he says “Fine, I will give you the cellphone/Ipod/whatever back, but you are still going to be charged for this appointment.” only once in that situation has the person taken the object back.. and then the parents get very annoyed when they get the bill….. hey both the child and the parent are warned in this situation. If you have that kind of money to waste, please give me some.
(I am sorry if that sounds a little screwy about where I work but I can never be to careful about the privacy laws… even though I don’t use my legal name… you can still never be to careful)
I think it is time that the adults take the control back from the children. Don’t squash their independence, but dont let them run wild!!!